Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Tuesday Meme

Ten on Tuesday

10 Things You Want, But Don't Need

1. Definetly an Ipod. I seriously want one of these. With the amount of music I listen to, I should have one.
2. A Laptop. This would make being online all night sooo much easier!
3. An Armada. My dream car right now! Such an upgrade from my 2001 Escape!
4. A new wardrobe. I have some good clothes, a few pieces here and there, but I can totally re-do my wardrobe and be happy.
5. Another digital camera. I have one but I want a better one. Remember - this is about what I WANT!! lol
6. Unlimited flyer miles. I dont have any so why not go big and want unlimited?
7. A new cell phone. The one I have now kicks ass and I love it but there are better one's out there and why shouldn't I have one?
8. My own domain. I soooo dont need one as I have a happy home on blogger but it would still be nifty right?
this is getting hard.
9. A new husband. God knows I dont NEED another man in my life telling me what to do (lol) but I sure want the one I got lined up. I'll even go far enough to say that I cant wait to take orders from him as a good wife should. (LMAO)
10. A disco. Can you tell that I sooo ran out of ideas by number 10? Can you suggest something better?

Friday, February 24, 2006

All in a weeks work....

Happy Friday! I am so glad this week is over! Let me tell you, I never thought I would be happy about my current job situation but right now, I am!

I found a job!

Yea you read right! I found a job. I interviewed yesterday and they offered me the position right then and there. Said I came "highly reccommended"! Wow [blush] how cool is that? I didn't even have to sell myself to get the offer. Its at one of our dealerships. One of the biggest in Southern California. I will be distributing email leads from internet sales. I get a raise and..... my own office! yay! How am I more excited about that? lol I put in my two weeks today. I am very excited about this job.

The one thing that worried me was the commute. I have never had to commute more than 10 minutes to any of my jobs. I used to live across the street from my first job and down the street from my second. This job I am at now is the furthest away. My new job will be about 30-40 minutes with traffic down a freeway that I hate. I would have had to add to that the drive to take my Sunshine to preschool which would have been another 40 minutes added on. One. Way. So I made a command decision. My Sunshine will be getting pulled out of school until he starts kindergarten in August. He will be staying with my Grandma and cousin during the day. She lives on the way to my new job so it really works out. When I asked her last night if she might want to do that, she was so excited. She rarely gets to see him and we dont even live that far away. I'll give her 2 weeks before she starts loosing it.

So that explains why I had no HNT yesterday, I was busy getting hired! lol

I had an excellent night with my Stallion. This wait is killing me! I want my own place right now! I want to predict the end of March... is that too premature? Once I see how much $$$ I'll be bringing in on my own, I can be much more serious about this. My BFF mentioned that her aunt works for a mobile home community and that she might be able to get me a good deal. How does that sound? I wouldn't mind it, really. It's better than the type of apartment I can afford. We'll see. Like I said, once I start seeing how much I will be making each week, I'll be able to plan better.

Fernando Vargas is boxing this weekend. I'll be tuning in for the eye candy and to see if he gets knocked out.

Thats it for today. Everyone have a safe weekend! Dont forget to have some fun! I know I wont!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Tuesday Meme

Ten on Tuesday

10 Favorite Places In Your Hometown

(I'm going to list Wrightwood, CA as my hometown since I ran those streets the most lol)

1. The Sandwhich Shop - The name escapes me but those sandwhiches and smoothies were the bomb.
2. The candle store - I love Yankee Candles
3. Mountain High - good times up there
4. El Mirage - Not IN Wrightwood but somewhere I hung out alot in high school
5. Jensen's Market - Not a chain store. They had the most awesome fresh peppered turkey and provolone. And I remember the smell of the coffee grinder and how it was in the back corner by the stationary.
6. The Library - They had this cool cat that used to hang out with the librarian. They always had books for me.
7. The Saloon - one word - KARAOKE! And bomb ass pizza.
8. The elementry school - We used to go there at night and swing and play in the sprinklers, or just sit in the field and talk.
9. My house - big time hangout place
10 - The Streets - I say this because we used to walk EVERYWHERE. You could walk into town in about 15 minutes and I will always remember the smell of the pinetrees and the fresh air. I loved those walks. I want to go back so badly. Did you know that the trunk/bark of pine trees smells like a combination of vanilla and bananas? Thats a mountain girl for ya! Tree Sniffer.... ;-)

All this talk about Wrightwood makes me want to take a trip up there. I haven't been back in over 5 years. The last time I was up there, I was pregnant. I want to rent a cabin for the weekend. It has to have a fireplace and a private hot tub (outside). I want to take walks into town to eat sandwiches and have smoothies, window shop at all the antique shops. Then I want to go up the mountain a little further and maybe hike and just enjoy the fresh air and the company I am with. [sigh] Maybe someday soon....

Monday, February 20, 2006

Monday Meme

Hope everyone had a good weekend! I know I had a great Saturday/Very Early Sunday Morning. Maybe if you are lucky, I'll spill the dirty details [wink]

Here is Monday's Meme

Monday's a Bitch

Pride
1. Do you have a problem admitting you're wrong?
I wouldn't say so. If I am really wrong about something serious, I'll say so. If its something to joke about, I'll fight to be right but thats just out of fun.

2. Would you rather watch someone important walk out of your life or beg them to stay?
Beg them to stay. Easy one. I have watched too many important people walk out of my life and everytime, I have let them. I dont want that to happen anymore.

3. Are you the kind of person who would rather try your best and fail, or not try for fear of failure?
That one is a little harder. I would say that now, I would rather try and fail, knowing that I tried my best. If I dont try, I will always say "what if".

4. Have you ever expressed interest in someone high above your status, where your chances of being rejected were very high?
No I always aim low. lol NO! I went after a guy who I thought was more popular than me in high school. I got rejected but not because he was snobby, we were good friends.

5. If you made a contribution to a charity, would you want credit, or would giving be enough?
Giving should always be enough. I think that volunteering is important because you can understand that what you are doing or what you are giving, is really helping someone in the long run. Thats enough for me.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Yea me too...

I dont know what Johari means but here is mine. Have at it.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Let the Countdown begin....

April 28. 50 Working days. In 50 working days, 9 weeks, I will be out of a job. Instead of getting a better position in the company, they are closing my department and moving it to Indiana. Everyone in my department is getting laid off on April 28th. They say that they will be trying to find open positions for all of us before time runs out. It sucks. But whatever's whatever. I may have some potential opportunities in the company or at a dealership that is actually very close to my home. I almost want to wait it out, take the month of May off (unemployment) and then start back into the work force. But who knows what will happen. I was kinda upset yesterday when they announced it but I think we all saw it coming. Closer to April, I will start feeling the pinch if I haven't found another place to work by that time. The only upside is that the environment here in the office is kind of light hearted. Instead of all of us feeling let down by our employer, we are kind of more relaxed, at least thats the atmosphere today. It is Friday so that might be the reason but I think that it will be this way until we are all together packing our desks up. *sigh* On to other things....

Yahoo 360

Have you heard about this? Kinda nifty. Kinda jacking the whole myspace idea. But still kinda cool. I haven't really had a chance to play with it alot yet but I'm sure I will this weekend when I start my job hunting and the re-writing of my resume. I like that my cousin (who moved to Iowa) joined up on it so I can keep seeing pictures of her and the kids. Her idoit husband's blog is NOT enough for me to follow their lives. Plus its a really easy way to share photos which I love. If you haven't already, go check it out. Let me know what you think.

Crazy Kid

Yea my child is nuts. He is so obsessed with his PS2. He. is. four! And he can beat me at these games. And I used to be good at video games! ha! He just got the Madagasgar game for Valentine's Day and he has not stopped playing it. Its been too cold to go practice t-ball so he is in the house playing PS2 instead. What a much better alternative, doncha think? I dont know what I am gonna do with that kid.

Its love?

Yea it is. I've known that it is. That warm feeling I get in my heart when he calls me 'baby' makes me believe it even more. Knowing that he is willing to wait until I get all my shit together makes me feel good too. Last night as I drove away from him, I wanted nothing more than to be able to be in my own place, in bed with him, watching TV, laughing and being in love with him until we both fell asleep. It helped a little to know that could soon become reality but I wanted it badly last night. Soon enough....

Friday, February 10, 2006

shit.

Well a shitty end to a shitty week. I didnt get the job. I had my second interview today and kicked total ass. But my "friend", the only person I confined in when I said that it went well, snuck her application in last week and had another interview right after mine today. I know she got it. There were only 3 of us and the other person did not do as well as I know I did. My "friend", who is my mentor here at work, probably did as well as me but what sold her had to be her position in our office as a lead. Plus the fact that my boss has no problem telling me that my work is exceptional but my attitude sucks, probably had no problem telling the division I was interviewing for, the same thing.

When it rains, it pours.

hmmmm

I'm in a really weird place right now.
[Example: I just sat here for 5 minutes after typing my first sentence and literally found no words to continue this or express my feelings right now]
This week has been really emotional in the house. Between fighting and discussing our marriage, I am just sick of being there. I hate to allow him to pretend that everything is fine between us when I know that nothing inside of me has changed. He is trying too hard to trap me again, into his life, by making nice and trying to make things go smoothly. But then he just says that one thing or does that one thing that pisses me off so badly that I want to pack a bag and never come back. I know its what I ultimately need to do. It scares me so much. Leaving him behind is not scary. Being an adult, all on my own is whats scary. Admitting that 'I DONT LOVE HIM' right to his face, is scary too. Being that cold is frightening. But thinking about it, its what I need to do. What do I owe him? After all the years he has mistreated me, I dont owe him anything. He thinks that two weeks of a good attitude is going to fix 8 years of pain? I cant let him continue to think that.

Being alone wont be so bad. I have good friends and good family to turn to. I have my son. I have all my volunteering with the American Cancer Society, as well as the Youth Soccer Org to keep me busy. In the end, I would have myself to turn to. Isn't that all we should expect in the end anyways?

I know I am leaving something out. Someone. The One That Makes My Heart Smile. (yes I busted out the extended version of his name)
I have this problem with myself. When I love someone, I give them all of my love. It scares me to think that they might not know how much I love them. With the relationships I have had, I have noticed a pattern in relation to this. Men get scared away. Why, I'm not sure. I dont think this is exactly the case with him. Maybe my ability to express my love and ultimately, my vulnerability, has given him the idea that I am weak, that I cant stand up for myself in some way. He knows how to hurt me. Already. Why do I allow this to happen? Its all that opening up and giving myself to him. I hope he doesn't hurt me intentionally and I hope that I am just taking this week too much to heart. But it still hurts.

I dont want to give the impression that he is a bad guy. He is wonderful. Its just this week, I'm telling you! Its this weird place I am in. I dont know how to make it clear to him that all I want is for him to hold me and just be with me. Nothing physical has to be exchanged. I just want to sit with him, with his arms around me and that would make this week go away. I dont want to think about the fact that he told me he has some girl in one of his classes that likes him (that he also stayed up late talking to one night)(and we all know that those late night talks about nothing are always the best kind). I'm a jealous person. I get sick to my stomach when I think about anyone else enjoying his time or his laugh with the intention of having feelings towards him. PHYSICALLY SICK. But who am I to have room to talk to him about it? How must he feel to know I go home to my husband each night? I would go home to him every night if I could. Hopefully I can soon enough. It just must be frustrating for him to be there right now.

Maybe thats why he is having a slight shitty attitude with me this week. Or maybe its just me.

I am reminded by the calender that this could very well be a case of PMS. Usually its only a day but its stretched from bad to worse as this week has progressed. I can tell that it must be PMS because on the way back to the office from lunch today, a fist full of greasy fries in my hand, I smiled for the first time today because "Baby Got Back" came on the radio. Yea, it must be PMS.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

HNT

Really had trouble figuring out what I wanted to do this week. But here it is anyways! Happy HNT!

Wanna join in the fun? Check out my sidebar for the HNT link! Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Monday and Tuesday Meme

I had to include Monday's today since I slacked off and didn't do it yesterday :p


Monday's a Bitch

Greed
1. Would you ever lead someone on if it was financially beneficial to you?
Wow thats jacked up! I guess my answer would be no. I see myself in that position right now so the answer is definitely no! My husband is going to school to be in the medical field. Once he succeeds, he will be making fat cash. Right now, the thought of that kind of future security would NOT be enough to keep me in this relationship.

2. Whats the most expensive thing you own?
Thats hard... cars are always expensive but the car I drive is not in my name so really it belongs to my husband. Most of my stuff is like that. (jacked up, I know) Right now, I cant consider the things we have as mine, just his. Something thats all mine would be my digital camera, I guess.

3. What's more important, job satisfaction or a fat paycheck?
A fat paycheck is definitely helpful! Its the money that keeps me where I am now. But if I had the opportunity to make more in a better place, I would. I cant see myself staying in a place where I am not satisfied.

4. How much money would it take for you to whore yourself out?
Some where in the high hundreds of thousands to millions. I have a lot of self worth but I have to say there is a price for everything, except of course true love.

5. Would you be morally opposed to stealing something if you knew you could?
If I knew 100% that I could get away with it, why not? Well I guess it does depend on what it is and who I would be directly damaging by stealing that item.


Ten On Tuesday

10 Favorite Childhood Fairytales
1. Cinderella
2. There used to be these stories about a toad. I dont remember alot of the details but those books were some of my favorites. If anyone can remember, let me know.
3. Where the Wild Things Are
4. The Princess and the Pea (greedy little girl!)
5. The Fox and the Hound
6. The Three Little Pigs
7. Red Riding Hood
8. Hansel and Gretel
9. Beauty and the Beast
10. Sleeping Beauty

Friday, February 03, 2006

Nerves....

I have an interview today for another position within the company. This might mean no more talking to customers! I found out about the interview TODAY while wearing my 'casual' Friday Dodgers t-shirt. Hauling ASS to Target for a new shirt and coming back late from lunch BETTER be worth it!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

In the Stars?

Daily Horoscope says:

It is now officially time to get over yourself. Stop dwelling on the past. It's gone, and it won't be back. Put some distance between you and whomever or whatever makes you even the slightest bit unhappy. Come on. Let go and let the universe drive. Who knows where you'll end up? Regardless of where that happens to be, it's got to be better than sitting in front of the television.

This right after I told the Coach that I'm pretty sure our marriage is over. Incecent begging to reconsider followed. Now I am just tired. And wishing I was somewhere else, ANYWHERE.

Four Meme

OK I saw this one on two of my favorite blogs Dooce and NinaKaye so I thought that was blogging karma telling me to do it! Here it is.......

Four jobs I've had
1. Target cashier and return desk
2. Robinson's May Ladies Suits and Dress department
3. Lancome
4. Customer service rep for previously mentioned huge RV Company.

Four movies I can watch over and over
1. Chasing Amy
2. White Chicks
3. Harry Potter movies
4. Empire Records

Four places I have lived
1. El Monte, CA
2. Wrightwood, CA
3. Temecula, CA
4. Monrovia, CA
(I dont get out of California enough!)

Four TV shows I love
1. One Tree Hill
2. Scrubs
3. Friends
4. CSI (the original of course!)

Four places I have vacationed
1. The Bahamas
2. Hawaii
3. Florida Keys
4. Washington D.C.

Four of my favorite dishes
1. Carne Asada Nachos
2. Fried Chicken with mashed potatos and corn
3. Lasagna
4. chicken burritos with rice and beans

Four sites I visit daily
1. Dooce
2. MySpace
3. NinaKaye
4. LaLaGirl

Four places I would rather be right now
1. In bed (well really anywhere) with my Stallion
2. At the park with my Sunshine
3. On a beach
4. Driving home from work

If you read this, I tagged you :p

1st HNT

First HNT!! I just have to say that I LOVE my camera phone, it makes this so much easier! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A Little Fun

Got this one from Simple Kind of Life and since I have no meme for Wednesday, I thought I would do it!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Gah, 10 years ago I wasn't even in high school! I was finishing up 8th grade and probably chasing boys! lol

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Last year around this time I was a lot less happy but trying to get through each day as best I could.

Five snacks you enjoy (in no particular order, as all snacks are created equal):
1. Potato Chips with my cheese and sour cream dip
2. ice cream
3. doritos with ranch
4. honey sesame sticks
5. candy

Five Songs to which you KNOW all the lyrics: (just 5??)
1. Always by Blink 182
2. Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill
3. Stickwity - Pussycat Dolls
4. Only One - Yellowcard
5. These Words - Natasha Bettingfield

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Buy a house
2. Get a divorce
3. Get married again lol
4. Get my Armada
5. SHOP

Five Bad Habits:
1. biting my nails NOT ANYMORE!
2. procrastination
3. wasting time at work (doing things like this lol)
4. not drinking enough water
5. letting my car be messy

Five things you like doing:
1. Being with my Sunshine and My Stallion
2. Drinking Thursdays
3. reading blogs
4. singing/listening to music
5. reading

Five things you would never wear, buy, or get again:
1. spandex
2. expired cheese (always check your dates on the bags!! bleh)
3. a hickey on my neck
4. a job in retail
5. a credit card

Five favorite toys:
1. My digital camera
2. My phone
3. My car
4. My computer
5. My Vibrator (haha)

If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!

Blessed

Everyday I am amazed at the things My Sunshine comes up with. He is so smart and already knows what he wants in his little world. Every day recently he has been putting together more sentences and complete thoughts and ideas and it reminds me how far he has come. In his soon to be 5 years in this world, he has changed my life so much.

This morning on the way to school, he found the left over King's hat from the hockey game we went to this past weekend. He decided, just like a typical male would, to wear it. I watched him in my rear view mirror as he picked it up off the seat, fixed the back of it to fit him, and I thought to myself, "He is going to put it on and wear it to school." Sure enough, he thought about it for a second and put that hat right on his head and just sat back and relaxed. He didn't say anything to me during this process, just decided all on his own that today, he was going to wear this cool hat he got over the weekend. Ms. Sharon approved when we walked into class saying, "Wow, I really like your hat today!" My Sunshine was validated and proud of his decision, right then and there.

How cool is that?